# You know you're crazy about beekeeping...



## bamabee (Dec 22, 2003)

when your kids idea of quality time is checkin the hives weekly after school....

you wife opens asks if you can claim your bee on your income taxes as dependants....


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## Scot Mc Pherson (Oct 12, 2001)

When you can't stop smelling your hands after working the hives (without gloves on)


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## Scot Mc Pherson (Oct 12, 2001)

When going to a U-Pick farm, your kids are picking strawberries, tomatoes, rhubard, etc etc...you are picking dead heads off of clovers for the seed.


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## Guest (Apr 7, 2004)

...when you reach into your pocket to pull
out your donation envelope at church, and
find that you have instead brought an
envelope containing the dozen bees you 
had intended to post-mortem for tracheal
mites and nosema detection.


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## Daisy (Jul 24, 2003)

I talk about my bees to the folks who come into my store... They get lessons in beekeeping without even asking for it...

LOL


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## mike_c (Jul 8, 2003)

When you go out to the barn to change the oil in the tractor and instead build a couple of SBBs.


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## BULLSEYE BILL (Oct 2, 2002)

When pasengers can't get into your vehicle because of all the bee stuff.

When the only time you have for a vacation is in the dead of winter.

When the checkout cashier at Lowes knows what you are building from the items on the counter.

When you retrieve a swarm seven foot above the second story of a building with a mexican tile roof.


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## 5TR-Apiary (May 6, 2003)

When you walk all over the field, following the bees from plant to plant, just to see the bees in 'action'.

When ever and where ever you see something blooming you check it out to see if the honeybees are working it!!


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## scsasdsa (Jan 23, 2004)

when you always check the price of honey & sugar at the local stores.
when you always notice hives in someone elses yard whil driving on vacation.
when you check out the varietal honey at every place you go on vacation.


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## NHbees (Feb 10, 2004)

Right after dinner you ask your wife if she minds doing the dishes because you have important work on the computer. Then she catches you checking in on the bee forum


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## rainesridgefarm (Sep 4, 2001)

When you are driving down the road and pointing out spots to everyone in the car the good places to keep bees and why.

When every thing you eat that is sweet you think "would the bees like this"???


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## BeeMiner (Aug 8, 2003)

When you fall off a chair in the kitchen while trying to catch a bee in the skylight without hurting her.


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## ZEEBEE (Aug 22, 2003)

When you bar code your bees so you can keep track of them

When you run to the hive to check on them after work BEFORE you kiss your wife hello..

When pictures of your hives show up on your computer wallpaper at work...

When you sleep with a big stuffed bee at the base of your bed...


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## dickm (May 19, 2002)

When the neighbors think you're nuts to drive with your veil on just because you filled up the truck with robbers. When you've filled the basement, the garage and much of the yard with equipment. And you still need more.


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## James Urbish (Jul 17, 2002)

when you get stung by 75 to 150 bees end up in the emergency room and the next year you start looking for a new extractor.


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## Guest (Apr 9, 2004)

Did somebody mention wife and kids?....Uh oh, I just remembered something.....gotta go.....!!!


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## SilverFox (Apr 25, 2003)

When your wife goes to buy plants for her garden, and you tell her to make sure bees like them.


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## wayacoyote (Nov 3, 2003)

..When your very first reaction to stepping on a bee in the yard is to morn the loss of her life and only then do you sit down and remove the stinger.


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## wayacoyote (Nov 3, 2003)

.... when your way of assessing a chick for dating is to tell her that you have hives.


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## Tia (Nov 19, 2003)

When you build them their own water feature with river rocks and a bubbler; when you put name tags on the front of the hives (Apis Amazons, Beegotten Beeauties, Comeback Kids, Dowty's Dames); when you hang evergreen wreaths on each hive at Christmastime.


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## wayacoyote (Nov 3, 2003)

Tia, 
Have you been hanging out with Daisy? I wonder if either of you give each of your little workers her own Easter basket or Christmas stocking during those Holidays.
WayaCoyote


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## Tia (Nov 19, 2003)

Wayacoyote, unfortunately, I believe Daisy and I are too far apart geographically to hang out together, but judging from her posts, I have kind of determined we're "soul sisters." So far as the Easter baskets go, don't go giving me more ideas, please. . .the town thinks I'm nuts enough--they call me "the gardening bee lady."


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## Martha (Feb 14, 2004)

I'm working on a fountain for my bee families too. I'm converting a half whiskey barrel. I really don't want the bees and the dog in the same dish.

My hives are currently painted the same color as my house. Kind of a vanilla pudding yellow (I have red brick with yellow brick accents on the house - 2nd floor is abestos tiles). I have been thinking of putting a stencil on them too. Maybe give them their unique design - like an address.

After all I live in an arts & crafts house.









Martha


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## dp (Jun 30, 2003)

When the honey flow is still 2 weeks away and your trying to figure out how many hives you want for next year.


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## 5TR-Apiary (May 6, 2003)

When you have your hives painted: "Return to Paradise" (green), "Summer Blue" and "Adobe Dust"(a terra cotta), have English Garden style copper roofs, white stands and have thymes,mints and lavenders planted just for the bees to enjoy! My husband just shakes his head at me but I am crazy about my bees!!


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## wfarler (Jul 9, 2003)

When you get stung by a bee you leave the stinger in for at least 10 minutes because you are building up your resistance.


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## dickm (May 19, 2002)

When you open a 50 pound bag to fill up the sugar bowl!

Dickm


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## scott_dixon (Apr 29, 2003)

When evertime you see a honey bee within 2 miles of your house, you claim ownership like a proud parent. "That THERE isn one'n MY Bees."


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## JohnBeeMan (Feb 24, 2004)

My wife ask a silly question today - "When are you going to work on something besides the bees?" It seams that all my free time for the past month has been building hive boxes, assembling frames, installing foundation, painting, build acid pipes, putting supers on, ordering queens, planning splits. And in the evenings I surf the Bee Forum. She has even started asking if I'm working or Beeing while on the computer. - NAG-NAG- NAG.:cool


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## Hutch (Nov 24, 2003)

When no one else will ride in your truck because of the smell. (BeeGo)

When the Sunday School teacher knows we came in the truck because of how my boy smells. (BeeGo)


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## Guest (Apr 21, 2004)

> When you open a 50 pound bag to fill up
> the sugar bowl!

Or, better yet, when there IS NO SUGAR BOWL!


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## Michael Bush (Aug 2, 2002)

>Or, better yet, when there IS NO SUGAR BOWL!

...because you ran off with it to feed a nuc...


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## abeille (Jun 12, 2003)

When you are using honey in each and every recipe you try at home ...

When you spend your free time counting varroa mites on sticky boards...

When during winter you look in the closet just to look at your beesuit...


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## loggermike (Jul 23, 2000)

When your wife takes you to a carlot to look at new cars,but all you want to look at are the flatbed trucks.


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## tarheit (Mar 26, 2003)

When the chemlawn guy calls offering a free estimate and you say "Sure, Do you have anything to get rid of this awful grass that is choking out the dandelions and clover"

You mow around dandelions and the blade of grass a bee is resting on.

You find a stray bee in the garage or house and walk it back to the bee yard.

Your summer vacation is located near (or in route to) a beekeeping supplier.


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## Michael Bush (Aug 2, 2002)

Here is John Caldeira's list
http://outdoorplace.org/beekeeping/youknow.htm


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## rainesridgefarm (Sep 4, 2001)

When you speed home hoping to get pulled over to show the officer the 20 packages of bees you just picked up in the back of the van with 200 of thier cousins flying free around you.


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## Andy (Jun 12, 2003)

When you are working on house plans and ask your wife if you can build an observation hive into the wall next to the toilet. Why read the paper when you can watch bees?


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## Dee (Apr 22, 2004)

When asked "how's your girls doing" you first think they're asking about your bees not your kids








Deanna


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## Dee (Apr 22, 2004)

when someone else has to mow the lawn (thats a foot deep) so that you can walk in front of the mower moving bees out of harms way
Deanna


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## usahq (Sep 4, 2003)

...when you almost wreck your truck because your preoccupied scoping out possible new bee yard locations as you drive. 

...when under the cover of night you ride on the back of a pick up with a 50 lb. bag of clover seed and a feed scoop flinging seed into all your neighbor's lawns.


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## James Burke (Feb 4, 2002)

When your apiary is landscaped nicer than your yard.


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## wfarler (Jul 9, 2003)

When you put vetch and clover seed in your birdfeeder so the birds will spread it all over the neighborhood.

Works!


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## Scot Mc Pherson (Oct 12, 2001)

When you have something to add to a "You know you're crazy about beekeeping..." list.


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## BeeMiner (Aug 8, 2003)

I eat my peas with honey.
I've done it all my life.
It does taste kind of funny,
But it keeps them on my knife.

My dad - 1955


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## abeille (Jun 12, 2003)

...when your friends avoid shaking hands with you fearing to be left with sticky hands.


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## BULLSEYE BILL (Oct 2, 2002)

When your bee supplies come on a semi-tractor trailer truck.


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## Fusion_power (Jan 14, 2005)

When you sit one full size colony and 3 nucs on your front porch just so you can check on them any time you want.

You should see the way the mailman acts when he has to drop off a package on the porch!

Darrel Jones


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## peggjam (Mar 4, 2005)

"When you sit one full size colony and 3 nucs on your front porch just so you can check on them any time you want."

Sure would keep the salesmen and Jahova's away  .

When your bill for sugar exceeds the grocery bill  .


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## MichelleB (Jan 29, 2006)

Most of the above (esp. flatbed fever) plus...

When you scale back your house plans so you'll have enough level ground on your hillside property for your hives. 

When your better half can get away with murder, as long as he helps out at harvest time. 

When somebody mentions wanting to install an observation hive in the bathroom, you argue that you've already determined that the condensation might be too problematic--and boast about your plans to install one in the living room wall. 

When the new neighbors think you live in a meth house, due to seeing people in "hazmat" suits. 

When you have a website domain for your apiary and honey products even before your first bees have survived the winter.

When you can't wait to drive 10 hours round trip in bad weather to pick up a bunch of empty wooden boxes.

[ December 21, 2006, 07:38 PM: Message edited by: Lupine ]


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## hummingberd (Aug 26, 2006)

When every conversation you have with unsuspecting friends relates back to bees...


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## Joel (Mar 3, 2005)

-When you your white t-shirts all have yellow spots on them and you don't mind

_When giving directions to your house include visible stacked bee equipment as the primary geographical feature

- When you drive 500 miles a week, 30-40 weeks a year to market so none of your honey gets sold wholesale in a white bucket to someone who won't appreciate how good your honey is

-When you quietly chuckle watching your wife headed for the house with the arms waving because despite your best advise she still washes her hair with fructise and she's not even mad

-When the size of your truck approaches the size of your house

- When after pulling 3 doubles in a week you sit on Bee-source participating in threads like this


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## power napper (Apr 2, 2005)

When every conversation ends up with bee talk.
When every email has bee talk.
When every passener in vehicle gets sick n tired of this tree produces necter.......
When each comfortable chair has a bee book with bookmark.
When you look forward to the first sting of the season!
When you worry about your wife using too much bee sugar for Christmas cookies.


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## Black Creek (May 19, 2006)

when a 'friend' stops by and spills a bit of soda on your porch and sees a bee sipping from it, and then thoughtlessly decides to try to step on it. You stop him and in a confused tone ask him what was he going to do, and he mentions "some people are allergic to those things!" You ask, "are you?" he says "No", so you bend over and pet your bee while whispering "its ok, he didnt mean it"


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## Oldbee (Sep 25, 2006)

That was VERY good Newbeematt! When I go to my mail box and my bee mags. have not yet arrived; I get the "shakes" and can't sleep all night.


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## DChap (Oct 19, 2005)

when your wife is decorating a wedding cake, you know that you have a better use for the fondant.

Blessed Bee 
Doug


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## Velbert (Mar 19, 2006)

When your little brother ask is that all you think about, while we were driving around finding big patches of clover and he was trying to show us where the big game was (deer, antelope)


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## dickm (May 19, 2002)

When you mix propolis with alcohol and use it to coat the glue in the new boxes, just in case it's toxic.

When you put a band aid on your grandson after coating it with honey first.


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## Velbert (Mar 19, 2006)

when you are laying in the kids bed telling them a bed time story and something comes out hand me the HIVE tool and they say DAD that is not in the story

[ December 22, 2006, 08:15 PM: Message edited by: Velbert ]


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## JBJ (Jan 27, 2005)

When you write a bee poem where every line rhymes with corny (and it is) and then post it.

http://www.beesource.com/cgi-bin/ubbcgi/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=2;t=006935
JBJ


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## iddee (Jun 21, 2005)

When you can get a hundred + bee stings in one minute and not leave the job you have undertaken.

When you cry as you see a large swarm disappear over the treetops, because you know they just left your best hive.

When you hold a five gallon bucket on top of your head and hollow "shake the limb", knowing you are going to take a shower in bees.

Thinking back over 30 years, I could write a book with these things.

Edited to add: It helps when you really are crazy.  

[ December 22, 2006, 08:56 PM: Message edited by: iddee ]


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## BjornBee (Feb 7, 2003)

When you hit 23,000 posts on beesource.


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## Craig W. (Feb 26, 2006)

when you finally cut the grass in the dead of winter and you find your car, you know your a .........! lol


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## BjornBee (Feb 7, 2003)

When your still reading this stuff at 11 o'clock on a Friday night.


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## BULLSEYE BILL (Oct 2, 2002)

Yeah, your a wild and crazy Bjorn.


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## Ben Brewcat (Oct 27, 2004)

I love it! I would add:

When your boss, sitting at your computer, says "don't worry, I looked under your desk" because last spring she kicked a package you had just picked up.

When your co-workers, who have no interest in bees, nonetheless ask "so what kind of queens will you have this year?" in the spring just to get the conversation out of the way.

If you've ever said the phrases "beneficial insect", "that's actually a normal, not an allergic..." or "USDA estimates a third of our food..." at a social gathering.

Neighbor kids play in front of your house hoping the "bee guy" will let them hold a frame and smoke each other.

You find yourself guiltily hoping they DON'T spray the invasive knapweed at the construction site until just _after_ the bloom.

You go snowshoeing up to the Divide, look around at the incredible view, and all you want to talk about is how great your homemade lip balm is.

You're GLAD the police and public works departments all know where to find you, anytime.

You name your queens.

And lastly, you know you're crazy about beekeeping when you built your hivestand with a spot for your feet and another for your beer because that's where you spend most of your feet-up, pint-in-hand time







.


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## dickm (May 19, 2002)

When you smell smoke, you have an urge to open a jar of honey.

When you're calm and gentle when you're out but surly and suspicious when home.

When a rainy day aggravetes both of the above.

When a sunny day in spring makes you want to fly.

dickm


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## BjornBee (Feb 7, 2003)

When your wife yells out the backdoor, upon seeing you blowing into yours hands as they are clasped together, "If your hands are cold, come in and get some gloves". Little does she know that you are trying to revive a bee found struggling at the feeder, and with a little heat and some time to gather its senses, the bee will normally fly of to collect another day.


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## BjornBee (Feb 7, 2003)

When sitting at the dinner table, your wife asks if there is something wrong with the riding mower. You ask "why the question?" She replies that she watched you stop the machine every 10 or 15 feet while cutting the grass. You reply that you were "waiting for the bees to move off the next dandelion flower before you continued"....


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## Joel (Mar 3, 2005)

Seeing Bjorn make these admission on beesource assures me that I am crazy for doing these same things. 

I'm not certain about the sainthood Bjorn but certainly we are approaching Ghandi!


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## James Henderson (Jun 20, 2005)

When your coworkers get a good laugh the next day at the office when you arm or face is twice the normal size due to bee stings. 

Believe me! You don't want to get stung in the ear lobe!! 

Your arm/face is swollen and passenger next to you on plane asks what happened. Actually sold a few bottles of honey after saying I was a beekeeper.

When mowing the lawn, you mow around the clumps of clover.

Twase the night before Christmas and your living room is piled up with supers you are building while watching the James Bond marathon on Spike TV. 

Your kitchen is piled up with supers ready to go outside for painting.

Patio under porch is piled up with supers drying after painting.


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## James Henderson (Jun 20, 2005)

One last one.....

You and your friends you haven't seen for a long while get into your Jeep to go to the bar and they ask What's that Smell?" You reply, "Oh, that's just the smell of burnt smoker fuel, honey, beeswax, and Bee Quick!"


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## Barry Digman (May 21, 2003)

When the biggest present under the tree has a Mann Lake label on it and no one but you knows who it came from or who it's for. 

Merry Christmas to all.


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## Michigan Hobby (Feb 24, 2005)

... while waiting for the wife to finish getting ready to go to the kids for Christmas dinner, you check into "BeeSource.com" to see if anyone else checks in on Christmas morning. 

(Maybe it's an addiction to "Beesource.com" and has nothing to to with beekeeping.)

I have really enjoyed the questions and answers each of you have been a part of this year. I have grown so much in my beekeeping knowledge because of YOUR help. God bless each of you at this Christmas season.


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## GaSteve (Apr 28, 2004)

>Maybe it's an addiction to "Beesource.com"

My wife has wanted to get me in a 12 step program for a while now. I tell her I can stop any time I want to. Really I can.









This forum has been an absolute wealth of information. I could write a book about all the things I learned here that aren't in any of those beekeeping books.


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## kensfarm (Jul 13, 2006)

When you're at your Christmas family gathering.. and your Christmas presents to your family are 4 red buckets.. each filled w/ 6 dozen eggs.. and a tupperware container of raw honey on top.


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## mwjohnson (Nov 19, 2004)

...when you actually think that a $250.00 queen is a "pretty good deal"...  

...when on Christmas morning, how every one hears you guessing about how the contents of every box that you start to open feels like it might be a particular piece of beekeeping equipment,you know..."feels like a smoker"..."feels like a pollinator jacket"..."feels like a refractometer"..


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## IndianaHoney (Jun 5, 2006)

When the local post office knows when to start holding your mail before you even start extracting so their mailmen don't have to walk past the wet supers you always leave on your front porch.

When the local post office knows when to resume delivery of your mail because you should be finished extracting by now.

When you give honey to your mailman so he won't gripe about the occassional sting he gets while delivering your mail.

When winter hits you start searching the internet for a beekeeping simulator so your season doesn't have to end so early. (Me

You have programming experience, and you start devoloping a beekeeping simulator because you couldn't find one on the internet. (Me again


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## MichelleB (Jan 29, 2006)

Uh, Indiana, let us know when you release a Beta version of that simulator...


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## Michael Bush (Aug 2, 2002)

Who's addicted to Beesource?


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## drobbins (Jun 1, 2005)

Hi,
my name is Dave
I am a beesource junkie


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## peggjam (Mar 4, 2005)

Hi Dave......  .


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## BjornBee (Feb 7, 2003)

I'm still waiting for intervention...AND I DON"T HAVE PROBLEM!!!


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## Aspera (Aug 1, 2005)

When you
1) use beekeeping equipment for furniture
2) can't believe that anyone would actually want to mow dandilions in early spring
3) get excited by the first appearence of goldenrod
4) dream about bees


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## Aspera (Aug 1, 2005)

double post

[ December 27, 2006, 12:43 PM: Message edited by: Aspera ]


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## ScadsOBees (Oct 2, 2003)

When you are the only one that you know that knows that TREES bloom.

And WHEN each one blooms, down to the week.

And you know the names both scientific and common of every plant that has a flower, and how much honey and pollen they produce.

And people look at you blankly and say "tree flowers???". And then tackle you to the ground and forcibly stuff rags into your mouth to get you to stop talking about everything bee related.









-rick


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## BjornBee (Feb 7, 2003)

When your scraping wax moth coccoons off a frame from a deadout, and some juice squirts up into your face, and you lick it up thinking..."Mmmmmm, not bad!"


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## beemarsh (Oct 24, 2006)

When you don't even have your first hive yet, but the first thing you do after Christmas is order your woodenware and read beesource?


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## Deano (Sep 4, 2004)

when your dog loses it place with your wife and kids.


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## Deano (Sep 4, 2004)

when your dog loses it place with your wife and kids.


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## MichelleB (Jan 29, 2006)

Welcome, Beemarsh! 

You're totally toast. Might as well kiss the family goodbye, and take a long swig of the Kool-Aid. Get it out of the way now. Trust me. 

Though you might have some hope. You waited until AFTER Christmas. 

OK, I have more:

When you take your new refractometer to the local health food store to practice measuring moisture content in their bulk honey tanks. 

When you get your boyfriend a bee suit for his birthday, so he can spend more time with you. 

When you suddenly have a desire to reconnect with old friends and family who live near California's I-5 corridor. Especially those with big holdi--I mean, backyards--and spare bedrooms. 

When you realize you've painted your living room beeswax yellow with propolis-red stained wood trim. (Looks cool!)

When you're pulled over, and the highway patrol officer asks what's in the suspicious looking boxes in the back of your white panel van, and you say "Nucs", it doesn't occur to you why you're suddenly handcuffed and face down on the sidewalk...


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## dickm (May 19, 2002)

>>>Hi,my name is Dave
I am a beesource junkie<<<<

I wrote something that starts out, " Hi, my names Dick, I'm an apiholic." Now you guys will think I copied. I DIDN'T COPY. but you have all hit on something I said. I will admit though, to getting a lot of ideas here. But I Did-not-copy!

dickm


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## Joel (Mar 3, 2005)

I'm an apiholic." 

Finally, someone has found the word that aptly describes us. I think there might be either social security or some type of Government money to support recovery from this!


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## iddee (Jun 21, 2005)

Did you know 4 gallon jars fit perfectly in a deep hive body? With an inhabited bottom box,and a second deep, you can haul 6 hives in a pickup, and no law officer will find the 24 gallons of shine, even if you do hit a roadblock?


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## drobbins (Jun 1, 2005)

>Did you know
I do now









Dave


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## BjornBee (Feb 7, 2003)

iddee, thats a small truck you got there. Get an 8 foot bed, place ten hives without stacking, and increase your profits per run...


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## George Fergusson (May 19, 2005)

"Hi, my name is George and I'm a beekeeper. Are you a friend of Dave W?"


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## chuck (Feb 26, 2006)

nevermind

[ December 29, 2006, 05:56 PM: Message edited by: chuck ]


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