# You might bee a beekeeper if ?



## Moccasin (May 18, 2010)

You have swollen body parts from time to time!


----------



## Bee Bliss (Jun 9, 2010)

You might bee a beekeeper if you run towards the swarm rather than away from it!

You might bee a beekeeper if you like free bees (freebies) !


----------



## Monkadelic (Feb 5, 2010)

If you wear swollen body parts with pride!

You're always on the lookout for pallets.


----------



## DC Bees (Sep 24, 2009)

You might be a beekeeper if your always looking up at the trees!


----------



## Scrapfe (Jul 25, 2008)

You may bee a beekeeper if every time you see an unknown flower you hurry home to look it up.


----------



## Roadstar (Nov 1, 2010)

You might be a Beekeeper if you refer to everything that blooms as a "flow"!


----------



## rweakley (Jul 2, 2004)

You might be a beekeeper when the only plants you will get for your wife are ones that are "good for the bees", Or you buy flowering trees(tulip poplar, basswood, or black locust) by the dozens because they are good for the bees.


----------



## Oldtimer (Jul 4, 2010)

Your friends and relations always know what they will get for birthdays and Christmas, before they get it.


----------



## Beeboy01 (May 20, 2008)

You spend half your lunch break watching bees on the flowers out in front of where you work. OH Look, A Honey Bee!!!!


----------



## valleyman (Nov 24, 2009)

You're almost always broke but your shop/basement, and bee yard runs over with equipment!! Or me at least.


----------



## Luv2beekeep (Dec 11, 2011)

you pull over and check the bees on the wildflower to see if they are YOUR bees AND--you can tell the difference


----------



## Acebird (Mar 17, 2011)

if you think a sting is a good thing.


----------



## Michael Bush (Aug 2, 2002)

You offer to give the guys at work a ride to the restaurant for lunch and when you get in you realize there are still a dozen bees flying around in the car from yesterday...


----------



## Roland (Dec 14, 2008)

....you convert the cost of everything into barrels of honey. 


Crazy Roland


----------



## Solomon Parker (Dec 21, 2002)

Beekeeper Meme:

Put stick in hive entrance.




Entrance reducer.


----------



## beekeeperlady (Mar 25, 2009)

If you ever had to strip because a bee found the only hole in your gear..... long story short.. had only a hood. no other gear. forgot my pants had a hole in it.. bees found it started to sting me on the inner thigh.. .. and i chucked them off as i was running away lol.. thankfully neighbors could not see me through the forest..


----------



## sasquatch (Mar 13, 2010)

if everything you see can work as a swarm trap


----------



## Frontyard Beekeeper (Aug 3, 2011)

if the only gloves you qwn are about a foot and a half long and ventillated


----------



## dehavik (Jun 5, 2010)

You can tell the difference between bees, wasps, flies, hornets, etc. just by their sound.

You can't help scoffing every time you pass that thin, watery "honey" in the aisle at the supermarket.


----------



## Paul McCarty (Mar 30, 2011)

The ATF stakes out your house because they think you are Moonshining due to the huge amount of sugar you buy.


----------



## wildbranch2007 (Dec 3, 2008)

your neighbors complain because you won't cut your lawn until the dandelions have finished blooming


----------



## Rick 1456 (Jun 22, 2010)

You've just gotten into the habit of swinging your arms over your head and occasionally slapping yourself


----------



## Daniel Y (Sep 12, 2011)

As you clean up the yard you evaluate every object for it's value as a swarm trap. those that rate any higher than Zero are left.


----------



## canoemaker (Feb 19, 2011)

...No scrap of wood in the shop is too small to be used for some piece of bee equipment.


----------



## randydrivesabus (Apr 27, 2006)

if the worst 4 letter word is bear.


----------



## Rick 1456 (Jun 22, 2010)

You put up a fence in your back yard under the guise of pet control. In reality, it is a device to mount mating boxes.


----------



## the kid (Nov 26, 2006)

If your wife ask's you were your going ,, and you say """" out to check out the girls ,,, play with the girls ,,,, or watch the girls ,, and she does not get mad


----------



## throrope (Dec 18, 2008)

10,000 women up and leave you.


----------



## Rohe Bee Ranch (Feb 12, 2008)

You know that Yellowjackets, red wasps, mud and dirt daubers, and hornets aren't "Bees".


----------



## KelpticFest (Apr 19, 2011)

... your stovetop generally has a kettle of syrup sitting there, waiting.

...your hallway floor is covered with stacks of frames waiting to be wired while you watch the news.

... there are bags and boxes of frame parts underfoot awaiting stapling.


----------



## THALL (Apr 6, 2010)

your fingers and jeans are covered in propolis.


----------



## honeyshack (Jan 6, 2008)

On more than one occasion you think you can open your bee yard fence without shutting off the fencer and get a good zap anyways


----------



## StevenG (Mar 27, 2009)

You might be a beekeeper if you get out of a nice, long, hot relaxing shower following time in the beeyard, and your dominant hand still smells strongly of smoke.


----------



## Nabber86 (Apr 15, 2009)

The UPS man runs away after leaving a package on your doorstep.


----------



## toekneepea (Jul 7, 2010)

You pay better attention to the weather reports than at any other time in your life.


----------



## DRUR (May 24, 2009)

If you want to destroy every yellow jasmine bush you see.

Kindest Regards
Danny Unger


----------



## geebob (Apr 4, 2011)

You can go out to pick up a couple of queens and still be straight.


----------



## DRAKOS (Oct 17, 2011)

If your friends know everything about bees, but you still want to teach them more.


----------



## Jami (Jul 14, 2011)

If between the months of June and September, you are sticky, and your kitchen is sticky, and your truck is sticky...........ALL THE TIME (Although I spose in other parts of the world you might be sticky 24/7 year round  )


----------



## Rick 1456 (Jun 22, 2010)

You tell your friends that the "streaks" on you vehicles is a custom paint job by an all girls business called "We Streak Stuff."
Exclusive and very expensive


----------



## Bee Bliss (Jun 9, 2010)

You might bee a beekeeper if...............

You look up through the 5 ft. skylight above your computer and you see your bees zipping past and also play count the dots on the skylight. Twenty is the record so far 

Your kids visit and they ask how the bees are doing.

You get annoyed when people call honey "bee barf".

You have a few favorite pictures of your foundationless frames with new comb and bees.

You are in awe of the wonder of honey bees.


----------



## bevy's honeybees (Apr 21, 2011)

Your daily buzz comes from bees


----------



## Rick 1456 (Jun 22, 2010)

I got one.
You have pictures of your queens in your wallet, instead of your wife and kids.


----------



## sammyjay (May 2, 2011)

If you're the only person in your neighborhood happy to see dandelions blooming.


Nathan


----------



## johnblagg (May 15, 2011)

if you say and I did not get stung once today it was a great day to split hives


----------



## StevenG (Mar 27, 2009)

If the post office calls at 3 am to tell you your packages arrived. And oh, by the way, you can pick them up anytime, they're outside on the loading dock.


----------



## wheeler88 (Mar 6, 2011)

if you visit beesource.com every night and click on the new posts tab...........


----------



## giant pumpkin peep (Mar 14, 2009)

when its time for queens to come in, you are on first name bassis with the post office, and your on call if they your late queen shipment shows up.

If see flower as potential honey.

if you rather spend time with bees than people.


----------



## sasquatch (Mar 13, 2010)

if you have asked your accountant if you can clame the cost of 250lbs of sugar as a bonis on 330.000 employees.and you consider open feeding bees a picnic.


----------



## Adam Foster Collins (Nov 4, 2009)

You can tell the difference between a worker and a drone...

..by the sound of their wings.


----------



## megank (Mar 28, 2006)

You might be a beekeeper if...

There's more dead bees in your car then live ones in your flower garden.


----------



## farlow51 (Feb 2, 2012)

While on your way to a High School dance, you have to explain to your date that you need stop by the local lumber yard and catch a swarm.

"It'll just take a minute. You'll be safe in the truck, I promise. No they won't sting me."
"By the way, you look great"


----------



## Rohe Bee Ranch (Feb 12, 2008)

geebob said:


> You can go out to pick up a couple of queens and still be straight.


That's really funny!


----------



## Acebird (Mar 17, 2011)

farlow51 said:


> "It'll just take a minute. You'll be safe in the truck, I promise. No they won't sting me."
> "By the way, you look great"


Enjoy your bees because you will be leading a lonely life.


----------



## theriverhawk (Jun 5, 2009)

Acebird said:


> Enjoy your bees because you will be leading a lonely life.


Spoken from the guy that has posted on this forum 3,491 times since March of 2011....


----------



## geebob (Apr 4, 2011)

Rohe Bee Ranch said:


> That's really funny!


Thanks! It made my wife laugh too!!


----------



## Mr. C (Oct 27, 2011)

Your wife asks you to go to the beach because it's so nice outside and you complain that there's no forage.


----------



## Honeypeach (Mar 15, 2012)

You enter any ongoing natural-foods discussion with, "I know where you can get some natural local honey ..."


----------



## Rick 1456 (Jun 22, 2010)

If the ringtone on your phone, is Queens piping


----------



## DLMKA (Feb 7, 2012)

I was out picking dandelions with my two daughters last night to make a batch of dandelion jelly and I kept thinking I was stealing from the bees. 

On the plus side, we did see lots of feral bees on the dandelions, creeping charlie, wild violets (less so), and the Morrow's Bush Honeysuckle (LOTS of bees).


----------



## garprob (Jan 20, 2009)

If you drive past a field of alfalfa covered in purple and blue and say to yourself "Wow, look at all that nectar!"


----------



## robherc (Mar 17, 2012)

you have 1 storebought smoker....and about 5 tin cans with holes in the bottom and grass/sticks stuffed in 'em 'cuz you always seem to misplace that storebought thing when you need it most.


----------



## BoTBees (Jun 8, 2010)

you know what type of honey yellow jackets make!!!!!!!:applause:
you can't be called a pimp when you sell your girls!!!!
you like the smell of stings!!!!:banana:
and you are bummed when the state mows the ditches!!!!!


----------



## jim lyon (Feb 19, 2006)

If you are around someone you don't know who casually asks you what you do for a living and you answer "I farm" to avoid having to answer the inevitable questions about bees dying or how many times you get stung.


----------



## Sue B (Apr 29, 2011)

Your favorite episode of MONK is the one with him in a bee suit covered in bees


----------



## bevy's honeybees (Apr 21, 2011)

Along that same line...you own a copy of the movies "Secret Life of Bees", "Ulee's Gold" and "Vanishing Bees" 
I still need to get a copy of Ulee's Gold, though I've seen it 3 times.


----------



## megank (Mar 28, 2006)

theriverhawk said:


> spoken from the guy that has posted on this forum 3,491 times since march of 2011....


Touche!


----------



## guyross (Feb 18, 2011)

If your seen on all fours with a camera taking pictures of bees on clover.


----------



## NE Bees (Mar 27, 2012)

You easily go through a 5 gallon pail of honey in a year.

The first day in spring that the cluster breaks is one of the most exciting moments of your year.

You can tell the difference between day-old, week-old and month-old workers just by looking at them.

You sometimes forget about honey and are genuinely interested in the wellbeing and resourcefulness of the bees.

You always ask your friends if it was actually a bee they were stung by, or a hornet, wasp or yellowjacket.


----------



## WVMJ (Apr 2, 2012)

You use Honey Bee Healthy as an air freshener. WVMJ


----------



## daddyman (Dec 27, 2011)

When out walking with your kids, you ask them not to blow all the seeds off the dandelions they pick, but to save a few to spread out in the yard and gardens at home.


----------



## Ben Franklin (May 3, 2011)

if you greet new friends with your vial on and think nothing of it.


----------



## guyross (Feb 18, 2011)

People keep think your a painter because you wear white overalls.


----------



## Rick 1456 (Jun 22, 2010)

Your neighbors comment on your new jacket, and ask to see your fencing sword


----------



## NowThen (Nov 26, 2008)

...your friends and acquaintances stop casually asking "How're the bees doing?" Because they know that you'll tell them.

...when your kids get dropped off after a play-date and they tell their friends' parent to not ask about the pile of bee boxes in the driveway.


----------



## MattDavey (Dec 16, 2011)

...you put a Bench Seat in your back yard...several feet from a beehive.


----------

